Harvest Moon

I was in the hospital for about the past two weeks. I did nothing for the new moon because I was sick, and did nothing for last night's full Corn moon, as I'm still adjusting to my medications. I have a lot of introspection to do. I need to find a place to live that's near the kids, but I have no connections. I have no plans for the harvest Mabon celebration, though I have been invited to one tomorrow. I'm just going to list things I'm thankful for and keep it simple.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going. I'm hoping I'm doing this adulting this right in both spiritual and mundane matters.

"Earth my Body - Water my Blood - Air my Breath - Fire my Spirit"

Full Sturgeon Moon

What is this moon? "Some Native American tribes knew that the sturgeon of the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain were most readily caught during this full Moon."

I didn't meditate today. I've had a headache since yesterday, mostly from my son practically screaming in my ear. He's terrible at whispering, and he has his mother's knack for being loud unintentionally. I did, however, pull a tarot card for a quick check up. I've been staying at my ex's house for the passed two weeks, so I have nothing but some stones and my deck.

I pulled the Hanged Man. "This card speaks of stasis, stalled progress, not taking action or perhaps even procrastination. This card suggests you may not be making a necessary or beneficial change, and are perhaps even denial over the need to make changes...what can you do right now to help yourself move in positive new directions?”

There are a lot of obstacles and changes coming my way, and I've just been sitting here hoping they would pass on their own and I won't have to deal with them. I have my licensure exam on the 29th and my ex suggested I move back in with him since I have a job lined up only 20 minutes away. *sigh* I really need to focus.

Full Moon in Capricorn

My meditation music for the evening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=270zECLqI5Y
My oracle card pull: "It is much easier to be critical than to be correct."
My tarot card pull: Judgment

"The Judgement card represents fairness, discipline, and control. It says discipline is merciful and not harsh. It calls us to be more disciplined and fair with ourselves. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, at the hands of others or by your own hand.

When this card comes up you are asked to look at yourself and your situation with a high degree of honesty. Are you truly doing what is in your best interests? or merely what you “think” you want? 

In this card the Angel Gabriel sounds the trumpet. It is a wake-up call to look for your higher purpose at this time and live up to those higher standards. Accept and honor yourself enough to do the right thing even if it isn’t necessarily the easiest thing."

I guess I need to ease up on myself and stop feeling like I'm a failure. My graduation ceremony is on Friday, but because I've missed so much school, I don't actually finish for another week or two. I've been stressing. Not to mention, there was a death on Justin's side of the family. I feel sad, but mostly hollow and confused. 2016 has not been a nice year. So many hard changes. So many life lessons. I don't know how much more I can handle.

Summer Solstice and the Strawberry Moon

"The Algonquin tribes knew this Moon as a time to gather ripening strawberries. It is also known as the Rose Moon and the Hot Moon."

And it sure as shit was a hot moon. The temperature reached 100 today and my fat little body was melting. I didn't have anything planned for the summer solstice. I stay at my ex's on the weekends and forgot to bring anything with me to do ritual, so, since I stayed over today waiting for someone and having a doctor appointment nearby, I bought a simple white candle and used an image of the sun as my focus. Since it's both the solstice and the full moon, I listened to meditative music specifically for a full moon. This simple meditation lasted for about 20 minutes before one of my legs and my butt went numb. You can listen to it at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSmtHUNa8YA

I pulled a card today to meditate on as well. Using the Goddess Tarot, I pulled the Prince of Swords. "The suit of swords is associated with Isis, the Egyptian fertility goddess. Swords symbolize the incisive forces of the intellect; they cut through to refocus the energy grown in the preceding suit of staves. Swords also symbolize the magical ability to transform painful situations into areas of personal growth. ... Like Isis, we can choose how to use our swords. We can turn them against ourselves when we are in pain. Or we can transform the situation through knowledge and understanding. From: http://www.tarotgoddess.com/

MEANING: Cutting through confusion. Being able to defend oneself brilliantly. Focus and clarity of understanding. A person who symbolizes these forces.


I believe my focus needs to be with my education. I'm being distracted by other things, and I need the closure on things I've been working on. It fits well with my meaning of this solstice. I see it as a symbol for, even though it's the longest day, it still comes to an end. I need closure, but I need to focus to better understand my obstacles. I have so much on my mind dealing with my heart and my goals. One step at a time.

Pink Moon 2016

It's been a very tiring few weeks. I am have a few issues with my health and it's taking a toll on my energy.

The month of April brings the full pink moon. Some people think the moon is named so because it turns pink, but the truth is a lot more simpler. "This full Moon heralded the appearance of the moss pink, or wild ground phlox—one of the first spring flowers. It is also known as the Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon, and the Fish Moon." -- from the Old Farmers' Almanac

This month's card pull from the Fairy Oracle that I use was pretty straight-forward. "Fear knocked on the door, trust opened it, and nobody was there." If I put trust in my faith, in my resources, and the people around me, my fear will go away. I have so much fear in my future, with my health and my schooling. I don't know if my upcoming surgery will help me out like it's supposed to. I don't know if I'll graduate on time. I don't know if I'll be able to pay off my school debt so I can graduate. I don't know a lot of things that are fucking with my emotions and my mind. I just need to trust that things will get resolved, that I'm stronger than I think I am, and watch the fear dissipate.

*sigh* This may take a while.

Full Worm Moon 2016

I'm not going to blather on like I normally do. My health is not permitting me a good week but I'm doing the best I can. Yesterday was the full moon and I pulled a card from the Oracle deck just as I've been doing the past couple months. This one depicted three women; the women on the left and right were dressed in elegant Asian dresses while the woman in the middle was dressed plainly and held a large rose. The fortune on the back read: "When you gaze upon a rose, enjoy her beauty - don't count her petals. " I guess I need to slow down, and if not slow down, then I need to see the beauty in all of the mundane. I need to find the joy in the every-day.

Snow Moon 2016

February is known to have the heaviest snow fall. However, since I live in the south, the most we've gotten is rain. After about a good week of spring weather, it has been raining the past couple of days and the temperature has dropped to the 60s. I see this time as an end to the winter. Nature struggling into the next season.


Last night, I went through a guided meditation offered by Source Vibrations on YouTube. You can find the video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iOlFZHs768
It takes about 15 minutes before the meditation actually starts, but it is very soothing and relaxing. I didn't last further than a half-hour, because I ended up falling asleep.

This month's full moon musing is "You cannot give more days to life, but you can give more life to your days." I'm not quite sure what this means to me yet. It may have something to do with the fact that I just feel like giving up. I live every day of my life on auto-pilot and I feel like I'm getting nothing done. I want peace and understanding. I want this journey to slow down so I can catch my breath. I have so many things going on in my head, I, like I said, just want to give up. I need to remember why I'm on this journey and give it more life so that I can enjoy the outcome.

Wolf Moon 2016

So, since the Grove only has dark moon rituals, I decided to do my full moon rituals at home with a simple card pull and a meditation.

I am using Sulamith Wulfing's Fairy Oracle, which I have had for well over a decade now. When my ex-husband and I first got married, I had really wanted Brian Froud's Faeries' Oracle. Unfortunately, it had just come out at the time, was very popular, and at a price we could not yet afford. J had found these for much cheaper. Funnily enough, these now cost more than Froud's.

These cards are not actually oracle cards but are more little devotionals. The front of the card depicts the colorful and beautiful artwork of Wulfing while the back frames the focal point of the same picture in black and white. Underneath the picture is a simple message. The message is only a sentence long, resembling something you would find inside a Japanese/Chinese-American cookie.

For this month's full moon meditation, I reflected the meaning of the wolf as well as the phrase on the card I pulled.

For more information on this year's full moons, their names, and their meanings, consider visiting: http://www.space.com/31699-full-moon-names-2016-explained.html

This month's card depicts two faces; one face, feminine and childlike, facing outward, and one face above her and seemingly older, overlapping, in profile. To the bottom right of the picture, overlapping both faces, is a moth, wings outspread. The phrase reads: Love is the only fortune that grows as it is spent.

Right now, my life is a hot damn mess. I have a lot on my plate and I'm panicking so badly I'm pushing people away. I'm afraid of being loved because of the mess I created in my life, and it has caused me much loneliness. I guess the Universe is telling me to put my big-girl panties on and let love in. Only love is real.

As for the wolf, I see it as symbolizing intelligence and instincts; two things I need to work on. I'm in no way an idiot, but I have a lot to learn. I, also, rarely trust my instincts. *sigh* So much work to do, and much to reflect on.

What are your full moon musings?

Pink Moon Ritual

NOTE: This was originally written on Saturday, April 7, the day after the full moon and was not posted until today because life has been hectic. Sorry for any delay.

"North American indigenous peoples speaking the Algonquian language historically called the April full moon the Pink Moon because this full Moon heralded the appearance of the moss pink, or wild ground phlox—one of the first spring flowers."

Friday night, there was a bit of haze in the sky, causing this month's full moon to have a pearlescent halo surrounding it. It was beautiful, lit up, and looking like a rainbow hugged the moon. I lit a pink candle in honor of one of its many historical names and meditated on my life, my family, my goals, and of the goddess. With this full moon snuggled between the pagan Ostara, and the Christian Easter, I spent it on the Goddess Eostre, from whom the names for those holidays came.

In ancient Anglo-Saxon myth, Ostara is the personification of the rising sun. In that capacity she is associated with the spring and is considered to be a fertility goddess. She is the friend of all children and to amuse then she changed her pet bird into a rabbit. This rabbit brought forth brightly colored eggs, which the goddess gave to the children as gifts. From her name and rites the festival of Easter is derived. Ostara is identical to the Greek Eos and the Roman Aurora.

Eos is the Greek personification of the dawn, the daughter of the Hyperion and Theia and the sister of Helios (sun) and Selene (moon). By Astraeus she was the mother of the four winds: Boreas, Eurus, Zephyrus and Notus; and also of Heosphorus and the Stars. She was depicted as a goddess whose rosy fingers opened the gates of heaven to the chariot of the Sun. Her legend consists almost entirely of her intrigues. She first slept with Ares; this earned her the wrath of Aphrodite who punished her by changing her into a nymphomaniac. Her lovers were Orion, Cephalus and Tithonus.

Aurora is the Roman personification of the dawn. She is also the Roman equivalent of the Greek goddess Eos. Aurora is seen as a lovely woman who flies across the sky announcing the arrival of the sun. Aurora has two siblings: a brother, the sun, and a sister, the moon. She has had quite a number of husbands and sons. Four of her sons are the four winds (north, south, east, and west). According to one myth, her tears cause the dew as she flies across the sky weeping for one of her sons, who was killed. Aurora is certainly not the most brilliant goddess as she asked Zeus to grant one of her husbands immortality, but forgot to ask for everlasting youth. As a result, her husband soon became aged. Aurora is not one of the better-known goddesses. However, Shakespeare refers to her in his famous play Romeo and Juliet.

-source: pantheon.org

Wolf Moon Ritual

Last night, during the full moon, I couldn't do anything outside like I had hoped. It had rained all day, and the temperature had dropped, leaving it quite chilly when the moon was rising on the horizon. Instead, I decided to reflect on things my mother (or mother-like figure, depending on whether or not my mother was home at the time) used to do.
I am currently sick with allergies. My face is swollen due to the cedar and plane pollen that is currently in a high count these past few days. With being 8+ months pregnant, this has caused my body to be aching in every place imaginable. So, I remembered what my mom used to do for me when I was a little girl with a nasty head cold.

She'd run a nice warm bath for me to sit in and stick a small bucket of scalding hot water with globs of menthol camphor in it and a towel over my head so I could breathe in the steam. Seeing as I'm no longer a little girl, and I have no bucket and no camphor, I bought mineral bath salt and oil from Natural Therapy specifically for cold & allergy symptoms, ran an incredibly hot bath, then sunk myself right into it. Best. bath. ever. I ended up falling asleep and stayed in the bath for a good half hour because of it. :)