Sunday, October 9, 2011

Last Year Samhain Issue

I am testing out a new PDF host using my old circle's newsletter for Samhain of last year.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Cry It Out

I forgot how much a good cry can disperse any negativity you've been holing up inside you. Today, after accidentally dropping a medium box full of shoes down a flight of stairs, I sat and I cried. I cried all of my frustrations of this stressful move and all the packing* that I've done this week. I cried because my entire body hurts from lifting and shoving and taping and moving. I cried because my husband is a jerk when he's been out in the hot sun and I have to calm myself so I don't punch him in the face. I cried because I am pregnant and am bloated and nauseous 90% of the time, and then I cried some more because I have a final paper due on Monday for class that I have barely touch because I have been so busy trying to get everything in order. I cried because I only have until Friday night to get everything down. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I sat on that middle landing until I was good and ready to get up, and you know what? After a while, I felt SO MUCH better.

*For those who may have missed it, I am in the process of moving from Iowa back to Texas due to the fall in the economy. I can no longer afford my house and need to be out of it by Aug 1.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Ophelia was a bride of god
A novice Carmelite
In sister cells the cloister bells
Tolled on her wedding night 

Ophelia was a rebel girl
A blue stocking suffragette
Who remedied society
Between her cigarettes 

Ophelia was a sweetheart
To the nation over night
Curvaceous thighs
Vivacious eyes
Love was at first sight... 

Ophelia was a demigoddess
In pre war Babylon
So statuesque a silhouette
In black satin evening gowns 

Ophelia was the mistress to a
Vegas gambling man
Signora Ophelia Maraschina
Mafia courtesan 

Ophelia was a circus queen
The female cannonball
Projected through five flaming hoops
To wild and shocked applause... 

Ophelia was a cyclone, tempest
A god damned hurricane
Your common sense
Your best defense
Lay wasted and in vain 

Ophelia'd know your every woe
And pain you'd ever had
She'd sympathize
And dry your eyes
And help you to forget... 

Ophelia's mind went wandering
You'd wonder where she'd gone
Through secret doors
Down corridors
She'd wander them alone
All alone... 

picture credit: Ophelia by John Everette Millais

Monday, June 6, 2011

Pagan Values: Exercising Faith

"However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?" -Buddha

In my free time I like to study religions. I plan to one day be clergy and be able to guide people spiritually. I'm a strong believer that if you understand their faith, you understand the person. I have come across so many flaky people in my past that I wonder if there are many of us left who actually follow our faiths, and exercise them.

I once went to a nondenominational-Protestant Christian church.The pastor, who was one of the sweetest ones I've known, always mentioned how he did not want a church full of cereal. I thought this was funny as he went to explain that he did not want any fruits, nuts or flakes condemning the testimony of the church, the works of Christ; how he prayed that one day, the community of cereal would stop being so and become true followers of Christ, exercising their faith in Him and following His example.

I've noticed a lot of my own faith be that way, too. I am mostly Wiccan. I have no tradition, and am very ecclectic since all of my training was on my own time with my own resources, or borrowing resources from libraries and friends. I studied, HARD, and had to work to not become a member of the Wiccan cereal, dubbed "fluffybunny."

Faith is not smoke and mirrors, or just a few pretty words that you memorized. Faith is waking up in the morning, seeing a new day, watching the sunset, planting a garden, playing with your children, making a meal, and seeing the beauty and the magic and the blessing in everything. "Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, An it harm none do what ye will." -Doreen Valiente, 1964 Following the creed, the rede, and putting it into practice, daily, in everything you do. Questioning everything, including your morals.

My value is to exercise my faith, my beliefs, my love for my gods, my love for the human race, each and every single day.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

My Values

1. Strong belief in exercising faith
2. Open-minded
3. Ever-learning, especially about others to better understand and truly stay open-minded
4. Academic back-up. :)
5. Balance between structure and just winging it.
6. Loving all, judging none.
7. Finding the good in everything even when things seem bleak.
8. Asking permission when necessary, going ahead with it in an "emergency"

Friday, June 3, 2011

003: Daily Meditation

"The only important things in life are the traces of love we leave behind."

I was very grumpy today and took out my frustrations on my children. My oldest told me that I had been mean and she felt that I didn't love her. I gave her a hug and told her that no matter how I feel, whether I am angry, sad, happy, confused, that one thing was certain; I would always love her.

Sometimes I forget to remind myself to show love. It's not enough to just tell someone you love them. Sometimes a hug, a kiss, or snuggle is what is needed. I sometimes forget to do this. With the stresses I have been feeling lately, I have forgotten to love. Deep down I always love, but I have forgotten to use it, to let it guide me, to be a part of me.

Even if I'm upset, know that I will love you past my dying day.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

002: Daily Meditation

"If you want to really change something, you must walk a new path"

I've come across people who think this means that one needs to change their religion, and though this may be the case for some people, it's not for the general consensus. As a personal meditation, it has nothing to do with religion but with the path I walk in life. All situations in my life are caused by the paths I walk; I need to change course to change those situations.

I've been dwelling a lot on my choices, and wondering if I am making the right ones. I have back-up plans for some, and am at a loss at others. I am taking a proactive approach to these decisions, but at times, that can be difficult. To deal with these emotional difficulties I have begun to search within and to meditate more frequently. This is the new path I walk.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

001: Daily Meditation

"For every step forward to gain new knowledge of hidden truths, take three steps forward to perfect your character"

I always try and better myself. Lately, I've been VERY grumpy and easily irritated with the smallest of things. My husband has been on the edge of my nerves everyday for a while now, and my patience with him is very thin. I don't know why this is; maybe I expect more understanding from him than I do others since he has been with me these past nine years. I realized that shortly afterward. I didn't pull this card until AFTER our spat, and I had done so as a means to calm me down. I expect too much of him, things that he cannot give me at my every whim. I need to perfect my character, especially in this area.

Note to self: Have less anger toward the ones you love and expect nothing.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Because Sometimes the Bible has Awesomeness

But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. --Luke 6:27-28

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Because It Fits

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. […] The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.”

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength To Love, 1963

“I’m concerned about a better world. I’m concerned about justice; I’m concerned about brotherhood; I’m concerned about truth. And when one is concerned about that, he can never advocate violence. For through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can’t murder murder. Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can’t establish truth. Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can’t murder hate through violence. Darkness cannot put out darkness; only light can do that.”

Martin Luther King, Jr. Where Do We Go From Here, 1967 (fourth paragraph under 'Commitment to Nonviolence')

People may say that I am naive in agreeing with these views. Some may even go so far as to think I have never been a victim and therefore have no idea what I am talking about. My family, myself included, have been victims of rape, abuse, murder, racism and suicide. I fully understand the implications of these actions. I also understand that I never want to partake in them. Ever. I know, first hand, the pain it causes, and I wish to never cause that pain upon someone else.

I do not deny the existance of bad people. We would not know good people if we had no one to compare them to. What I wish for, however, is that more people would strive to be more understanding, more compassionate, more of a help to each other than a hindrance to civilization. In nature, there is no evil v. virtuous. It is both because nature is both cruel and kind. There is both love and scorn and both work in harmony. I am not saying that we as a people should only love and have no other emotions, I am saying that we as a people should learn to cooperate.

I will continue to love everyone, whether they cause me harm or not. I will forgive always. I will find room in my heart for compassion. And I will die knowing that I was the best human being I could possibly be.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


I pray for the friends and family of Osama bin Laden, if he had any, and that his restless soul is at peace in a place where there are no prejudices. I do not rejoice in the death of another human being. In fact, I apologize for the fact that this country, this world, resorts to murder as a form of justice.

Am I saying that he was a good man? Absolutely not. I quite agree that he was a terrible man. Do I think he should have been taken to trail? Yes. Do I think he should have been given the chance to live, something he himself believed we didn't deserve? Yes. Why? Because I thought we were better than that. If he had killed himself, I wouldn't have minded, but the fact that we stoop to the same level every.single.time.

I pray that one day, as a people, we can live to better understand each other even if we don't always agree. I pray that instead of using brute force, we use our minds to deal with our disagreements.

Here's to empathy.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

<3 ~

Never underestimate the power of faith. Even the smallest amount can get you through the day. Live, laugh, love, and laugh again. There is so much about my faith, the way it makes me feel, that I can't put into words. It's like falling in love every day or meeting someone new for the first time. I want to see the world with rose-tinted glasses on.

The weather was fantastic. I loved watching Divinity in action. Who else could bring dead things to life so beautiful? I can't wait to die just so I could live again.


Sunday, March 20, 2011


EVERYONE HAVE A VERY BLESSED DAY. Today is the Spring equinox, a day of equal light and darkness. Let us take today to focus on balancing our lives. ♥

For five minutes, forget about that essay you have to write for class and spend time with your parents. For five minutes, forget about that report for work and hug your children, kissing each one. For five minutes, take a break at work by hiding in the bathroom and texting your spouse that you love them. Hug a friend, a child, a loved one, and let them know you care and think about them. For five minutes, stop and think about where your life is headed and if that's where you want to be. Make the change now.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Affirmation and Mantra For Today

Today's Affirmation:
I am a witch.
I am at one with the Earth, the Universe, and the Divine.
Let this day be free from strife and fear.
Let only joy and love come near.
With blessings given and recieved,
I walk in peace in word and deed.
Today's Mantra:
The Goddess within,
The Goddess I know,
The One in my skin,
Her power will flow.
Brightest blessings to all.

Friday, March 4, 2011

On Being Harrassed [video post]

I posted this a couple of days ago on YouTube. I have a lot of Christian friends who are awesome and don't berate me about my beliefs. We agree that we are all trying to find peace within ourselves and are worshiping the gods with whom we feel the best connected to, where we feel the love and wish to show our love to them. I just wish more people were like my friends. Did I mention they are awesome?

original video can be found at:

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Year And A Day...Continued

I have been posting videos on YouTube of my experience for every day in my journey. I have uploaded a few new ones. You can find them at Go check them out, comment, subscribe! <3

How I Came to Be Wiccan [video post]

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Sunday was fantastic.

My year & a day is on hold right now, only because I have been sick for the past few weeks and don't have a lot of energy to devote to my training. I am doing things here and there that are still spiritual, but not on a daily basis. I am trying to incorporate my spirituality to my mundane, so that every day is sacred to me, but I'm having difficulty due to my depression.

Sunday, after archery lesson, I went with my bestie over to her house to do a new beginnings ritual. I had a life and a death arrow with things I wanted to accomplish in different areas (work, health, relationship, money) of my life (life), and the things that had stopped me from doing so, what we learned from it and how we planned to fix it (death.) We lit a candle for new beginnings, and one for positive energy. We had thoughtful coins, the kind with a pretty picture and a saying inscribed on the back, to help guide us in our endeavors.

I'm thinking of doing this once a month, after archery, with my bestie, as well as doing a ritual on my own every Sunday morning. I think this will help me both spiritually and mentally. When I feel those areas in my life are whole, I am physically better.

New beginnings, actively taking part.

Friday, January 14, 2011


Come little children
I'll take thee away, into a land
of Enchantment

Come little children
the time's come to play
here in my garden
of Magic

Follow sweet children
I'll show thee the way
through all the pain and
the Sorrows

Weep not poor childlen
for life is this way
murdering beauty and

Hush now dear children
it must be this way
to weary of life and

Rest now my children
for soon we'll away
into the calm and
the Quiet

Come little children
I'll take thee away, into a land
of Enchantment

Come little children
the time's come to play
here in my garden
of Shadows

Here I would give credit where credit is due, but this poem has been attributed to many authors and copyright is still in debate.

Friday, January 7, 2011


I see a crescent moon just above the horizon like a Cheshire cat's grin & wonder what the gods have in store for me. Will Gaia take my mothering to new depths or will Artemis test my strengths? I wonder, will Apollo & his Muses tap into my creativity and take me off into artistic adventures? Only time will tell. I ponder while the moonn begis to set & turns blood red.

Here's to a new year full of surprises.