Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Full Moon in Capricorn

My meditation music for the evening:
My oracle card pull: "It is much easier to be critical than to be correct."
My tarot card pull: Judgment

"The Judgement card represents fairness, discipline, and control. It says discipline is merciful and not harsh. It calls us to be more disciplined and fair with ourselves. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, at the hands of others or by your own hand.

When this card comes up you are asked to look at yourself and your situation with a high degree of honesty. Are you truly doing what is in your best interests? or merely what you “think” you want? 

In this card the Angel Gabriel sounds the trumpet. It is a wake-up call to look for your higher purpose at this time and live up to those higher standards. Accept and honor yourself enough to do the right thing even if it isn’t necessarily the easiest thing."

I guess I need to ease up on myself and stop feeling like I'm a failure. My graduation ceremony is on Friday, but because I've missed so much school, I don't actually finish for another week or two. I've been stressing. Not to mention, there was a death on Justin's side of the family. I feel sad, but mostly hollow and confused. 2016 has not been a nice year. So many hard changes. So many life lessons. I don't know how much more I can handle.

Monday, July 4, 2016

July Dark Moon 2016

It's Independence Day here in the US. We're not doing anything special; staying indoors where it's not hot and humid, and cleaning the house. Had some corndogs and onion rings to kind of match the day, but like I said, nothing special.

This dark moon's tarot card pull is strength. "The strength to create peace between opposing forces. These forces may be internalized or personified in a situation. Tame them. You have the strength!"

I have no idea what this means. I've been sitting here trying to meditate on this but I'm drawing a blank. I guess I need the strength to reach my goals. I have a lot of internalized feelings regarding certain relationships. I have this constant feeling of impending doom now that graduation is only a couple weeks away. Eighteen days...

I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I have a few things set down, but nothing set in stone. I constantly feel tired and disconnected. Hopefully I'll find the strength to just keep going. I'm not very good at this adulting thing.