Friday, January 15, 2016

Mercury Retrograde and January 2016

Is Mercury retrograde fucking anybody else's shit up? Like, seriously?

First, let me start off with saying that the deaths of David Bowie and Alan Rickman have really hit me hard. They were such an inspirational part of my childhood. Bowie's music and personality helped me understand myself better and deal with my inner demons. Rickman's characters brought me much joy, especially the Metatron in Dogma and (of course) Snape in Harry Potter. The fact that their deaths were so close together and caused by cancer wounds me deeply. I may have been able to handle it differently if there had been a larger span of time in between, but seeing as it was, I cried deeply. I never knew these men, and they will never know what they mean to me and how they helped me.

Second, Mercury retrograde [Rx] is fucking my shit up. Usually, Rx doesn't bother me much. Over the years, Rx has been a small nuisance that I easily dealt with. I had a few misfires in some endeavors or misunderstandings in communication, nothing so much that I wanted to light something on fire out of frustration. They were always simple things. This month, however, I have no idea what happened, but it's barely the end of the third week and I just want to walk down a street and punch people in the face. (Don't worry. I'm actually a very loving and passive person and would never actually do this unless threatened, but a girl does have her fantasies.)

It didn't start off poorly. There was a miscommunication with a psychiatric appointment, but I still received my meds, and then I went and enjoyed a day with a friend and Star Wars Episode 7 after a solo dinner at Olive Garden, but then shit just hit the fan. It came in subtly, with the destruction of my phone. I was watching Episode 7, went to the bathroom, and while I flushed the toilet, my phone slipped out of my jacket pocket (I'm still trying to figure this one out) and fell in the toilet. I quickly dried it off, but it eventually ate shit and died and refuses to work. I have shit on that phone that is now gone. *sigh* I have a replacement phone coming next week, but I'm still mourning the loss of my media files.

The next issue is that my car didn't pass inspection. No big deal, it was a "simple fix" having to do with the lights above my license plate. The fuses and bulbs were fine, so it had to be the wiring. Take it to the mechanic, says it's the wiring and an "easy fix", try to order the part, CAN'T FIND THE PART ANYWHERE. So now my inspection and registration tags (which can't be given without a passed inspection) are expired and my plate lights don't work. Every time I drive to go to school, run errands, or visit my kids, I'm paranoid I'm going to get pulled over for the stupid light (which I have before) and then get a ticket for the expired tags (which I just paid off for the last time this happened.) The anxiety when driving (and I'm already a nervous driver) is nauseating. I. do not. have. the money for this shit.

And as of today, I almost died. OK, I'm exaggerating and being melodramatic, but it felt like it. It's cedar season here in Texas and I'm horribly allergic. It's not just a few little sniffles here and there and maybe some itchy, watery eyes every once in a while. I look like I got hit by a truck, or at least, punched in the face. It manifests just like a cold; soar throat, fever, vomiting, nausea, sinus headaches, mucous congestion, runny nose... I feel and look like hell. For the past five days straight I have stayed in bed eating nothing but soup and chocolate, missing school, watching episodes of Bewitched because I can't concentrate long enough to read, and just being miserable. Today I had an asthma attack and ended up in the ER. I figured the doctor was just going to tell me I had a virus or an infection. Nope. Just allergies. Seriously. Allergies to tree pollen. I stopped breathing because of fucking tree semen. Ended up with a shot and am now on a lovely regime of steroids.

*sigh* I just want shit to get back to normal! And if all this is happening and it's not because of Rx, can it ease up, please? I seriously can't continue like this.

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