Cry It Out

I forgot how much a good cry can disperse any negativity you've been holing up inside you. Today, after accidentally dropping a medium box full of shoes down a flight of stairs, I sat and I cried. I cried all of my frustrations of this stressful move and all the packing* that I've done this week. I cried because my entire body hurts from lifting and shoving and taping and moving. I cried because my husband is a jerk when he's been out in the hot sun and I have to calm myself so I don't punch him in the face. I cried because I am pregnant and am bloated and nauseous 90% of the time, and then I cried some more because I have a final paper due on Monday for class that I have barely touch because I have been so busy trying to get everything in order. I cried because I only have until Friday night to get everything down. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I sat on that middle landing until I was good and ready to get up, and you know what? After a while, I felt SO MUCH better.



*For those who may have missed it, I am in the process of moving from Iowa back to Texas due to the fall in the economy. I can no longer afford my house and need to be out of it by Aug 1.

Ophelia

Ophelia was a bride of god
A novice Carmelite
In sister cells the cloister bells
Tolled on her wedding night 

Ophelia was a rebel girl
A blue stocking suffragette
Who remedied society
Between her cigarettes 

Ophelia was a sweetheart
To the nation over night
Curvaceous thighs
Vivacious eyes
Love was at first sight... 

Ophelia was a demigoddess
In pre war Babylon
So statuesque a silhouette
In black satin evening gowns 

Ophelia was the mistress to a
Vegas gambling man
Signora Ophelia Maraschina
Mafia courtesan 

Ophelia was a circus queen
The female cannonball
Projected through five flaming hoops
To wild and shocked applause... 

Ophelia was a cyclone, tempest
A god damned hurricane
Your common sense
Your best defense
Lay wasted and in vain 

Ophelia'd know your every woe
And pain you'd ever had
She'd sympathize
And dry your eyes
And help you to forget... 

Ophelia's mind went wandering
You'd wonder where she'd gone
Through secret doors
Down corridors
She'd wander them alone
All alone... 

picture credit: Ophelia by John Everette Millais

Pagan Values: Exercising Faith

"However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?" -Buddha

In my free time I like to study religions. I plan to one day be clergy and be able to guide people spiritually. I'm a strong believer that if you understand their faith, you understand the person. I have come across so many flaky people in my past that I wonder if there are many of us left who actually follow our faiths, and exercise them.

I once went to a nondenominational-Protestant Christian church.The pastor, who was one of the sweetest ones I've known, always mentioned how he did not want a church full of cereal. I thought this was funny as he went to explain that he did not want any fruits, nuts or flakes condemning the testimony of the church, the works of Christ; how he prayed that one day, the community of cereal would stop being so and become true followers of Christ, exercising their faith in Him and following His example.

I've noticed a lot of my own faith be that way, too. I am mostly Wiccan. I have no tradition, and am very ecclectic since all of my training was on my own time with my own resources, or borrowing resources from libraries and friends. I studied, HARD, and had to work to not become a member of the Wiccan cereal, dubbed "fluffybunny."

Faith is not smoke and mirrors, or just a few pretty words that you memorized. Faith is waking up in the morning, seeing a new day, watching the sunset, planting a garden, playing with your children, making a meal, and seeing the beauty and the magic and the blessing in everything. "Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, An it harm none do what ye will." -Doreen Valiente, 1964 Following the creed, the rede, and putting it into practice, daily, in everything you do. Questioning everything, including your morals.

My value is to exercise my faith, my beliefs, my love for my gods, my love for the human race, each and every single day.