So February has started and for some reason I keep thinking it's still January, even though I am a diligent cross-the-day-out-on-the-calendar person.
Imbolc was very uneventful for me in the religious/spirituality front, unless you count ending up in the hospital as something along those lines.
On the second, after going through to weeks of pelvic pain, I had a horrible spike in my pain and could barely function past the curled-up-in-the-fetal-position-and-cry phase. After spending 8 hours in the emergency room, I am prescribed pain meds, antibiotics for a pelvic infection, and a referral to an OBGYN for the two penny-sized cysts in my right ovary. Apparently one had ruptured that day, hence the pain. The first one hasn't fully drained, and the second has yet to rupture. My new doctor put me on a higher dose of medication and he'll see me in a month. I just have to suck it up and whatever. So, for Imbolc, I pretty much stayed in bed and wished I didn't have ovaries.
Now the new moon was just a few days ago. Due to the excruciating pain I'm still in, I didn't attend he dark moon ritual as I would have liked. Instead, I did a very simple offering to the "unnamed" crone aspect, and pulled a card for this month's reading. The 6 of swords.
In the Rider-Waite, upright, the card means: journeys by water. Perhaps for pleasure, but more likely the Six of Swords metaphorically suggests traveling away from previous confrontation and turmoil. The journey will take the subject to a place of greater harmony on the far shore. What is left behind is also significant... this card suggests moving on from naive or erroneous ideas toward a state of clearer understanding, improved communications and greater knowledge. Traditionally, expedience, passage, travel, voyage. Reversed: unwilling or unable to leave the current situation behind. Feeling trapped or perhaps fearful of the journey. Communication problems. Misconceptions. Travel may be delayed or interrupted. Also, a warning of possible danger from water. Be wary of storms, flooding, children around swimming pools and other water hazards. Traditionally, confessions, disclosures, publicity, unwanted marriage proposals or declarations of love.
Again, something pops up with change, which doesn't surprise me. I'm taking my finals the end of this month or sometime next month, but once I take it, it will change the journey that I am on. Depending on the grade, everything I have done will be left behind and everything that I have worked for will be screaming in my face. It has caused me much anxiety, but I know I can persevere. I'm good at making shit up as I go, even if I'm falling apart inside.
Oh, nighttime musings, how I wish you had different news. I wish for a snazzy new boyfriend! No? OK, maybe next time.
