Mabon

Today is Mabon. This is a time of giving thanks for the harvest.

As a holiday, the term Mabon is fairly new, but people have celebrated the autumn equinox for centuries. At the time when there is an equal amount of light and dark, we harvest our crops and prepare for winter, all the while giving thanks for that which we have.

The idea of a harvest festival is nothing new. In fact, people have celebrated it for millennia, all around the world. In ancient Greece, Oschophoria was a festival held in the fall to celebrate the harvesting of grapes for wine. In the 1700's, the Bavarians came up with Oktoberfest, which actually begins in the last week of September, and it was a time of great feasting and merriment, still in existence today. China's Mid-Autumn festival is celebrated on the night of the Harvest Moon (which also happens to be tonight!), and is a festival of honoring family unity.

Many cultures see the second harvest time of the fall equinox as a time of giving thanks. After all, it's when you figure out how well your crops did, how fat your animals have gotten, and whether or not your family will be able to eat during the coming winter.
(about.com)

I see this time as the perfect time for reflection as well as for thanksgiving. I am thankful for so many things in my life and I give thanks to the Powers The Be for being so blessed. I have a wonderful husband who supports me and takes care of me as well as be a doting father to our daughters. I am thankful that even though my children can sometimes be ornery and just downright crazy at home, they have the decency to show that we are raising right and are polite and well-behaved in public. I am thankful that even though I am currently searching for a 3rd job, the government has provided programs to assist me until I find something full time so that we are not starving and homeless. I am thankful that I am making ends meet. I am thankful for friends. I am thankful for family. I am thankful for this crazy, wild, and unpredictable life I live because in the end, it will totally be worth it.

Questioning Your Path

Why am I exploring the Wiccan path?
It's the one faith I have felt the most comfortable in.

What were my previous spiritual practices?
For the longest time I was pretty agnostic. I have always felt there is a higher being somwhere. Before that I was Protestant. I had been raised in Baptist and Pentecost churches but never really felt connected. I felt fear and discomfort.

Did any of these practices lead me to investigate Wicca?
No. I didn't even know that Wicca existed until someone brought Teen Witch by Silver Ravenwolf to Home Ec. class in the 8th grade (11 years ago). I only knew of 4 religions, three of them being Judeo-Christian and the last as Buddhism. The fact that there was an Occult intrigued me. So I began searching ALL faiths as a personal project, just to better understand them. Wicca was the one that most intrigued me, the one that felt the most comfortable.

What are my hopes in engaging in this path?
Connecting more with myself and the energy that surrounds me.

What are my fears in engaging in this path?
That I'll half-ass it like I do just about everything else. (I'm busy, dammit!)

How will I handle friends and family members who might not approve of my spiritual search?
You know, at this point in life I just do not have the time to care about what other people think of me. If they don't like it, it's their prerogative, but I'm not going to sit there and waste my time trying to convince them of something they don't want to hear. I don't have the energy. If they don't like it, they can move on. I'm done stressing about it.

Aside from transitioning to a new spiritual path, are there major events that impact my life at this time (for example, births, deaths, divorce, job loss, etc)?
Yes, my husband lost his job in May and we've been trying to make ends meet since. It was 4 months on Monday and today was his second job interview. I have had a couple, but I at least have two minimum wage jobs. Unfortunately they are both part-time (25 hours or less per week) and it is not enough. J's unemployment insurance isn't going to last forever and if either one of us does not get hired for a full-time paying job above 10 an hour, we are going to be struggling.

If I have major life events happening right now, is this the best time to explore a new spiritual path? Why/why not?
I'm quite sure that now is not the best time. I have a lot on my plate between homeschooling, my own education, two jobs, and job seraching. I am horribly exhausted 90% of the time. However, I feel horribly disconnected from reality and this journey is what is keeping my feet firmly planted on the ground. I like the introspection; it helps me keep my sanity.


*spend time in quite contemplation of these answers

Melting Beliefs

The exercise for today involved the one from yesterday. Today I needed a candle holder, a white taper candle, and the words from yesterday. After meditating on the emotional meanings of these words I found a common theme: FEAR. FEAR is the source of the anger, confusion, and refusal of educating oneself of the meaning of the words. Fear guides the mistrust, discomfort, and misguided actions toward others. I even have fear of using the words due to the reactions others may have of them.

Taking a knitting needle (I couldn't find a pin and my witch cabinet is in the craft room), I wrote the word FEAR on my candle and burned it. The melted wax will be buried far from home, the fear of the words symbolically melted away and physically buried. I found the perfect spot at the old Christian church that is up for sale. No one will be there to disturb it.

Throughout this journey, I hope to be rid of my own fears in these words and the reactions of others due to their own fears.

Words

Day Two involves words that may be uspetting to use or hear and are listed below:

Wicca; Witchcraft; Power; Ritual; Magic; Occult; Pagan; Spell; Earth-religion

What is my comfort level in using each word? (I used a scale of 1-10; with 10 being most comfotable, 1 being uncomfortable, and 5 being nuetral.)

Wicca-9; Witchcraft-6; Power-10; Ritual-10; Magic-7; Occult-5; Pagan-10; Spell-5; Earth-religion-5

How do I understand each word?
I see Wicca as not only a religion, but as a lifestyle centering itself around the energies within the universe. Witchcraft is the practice of folklore, ancient beliefs passed down from generation to generation built on culture, upbringing, and instinct. Power is how I describe energy, the universal ALL that is. Ritual is something you do every day; daily rituals, as well as seasonal rituals, to honor the mundane and the ethereal. I rarely use the word Occult. I see it as the meaning of dark mysteries and I have yet to feel that my path is a mysterious mystery. Pagan is what I define those who go down to their country beliefs and worship accordingly; the beliefs that everyone had once grown up on before the Judeo-Christian movement. I see spells as another form of prayer; sometimes convaluted prayer. :) And earth-religion is just any religion that centers around the energy, worship, restoration of the earth.

How do I imagine that each word impacts othe people who are not involved with Wicca?
From my own experiences it is based on a combination of upbringing and belief that will effect the reaction of these words from others. Many people have not a clue what Wicca is, or even Pagan. As soon as you mention earth-religion and witchcraft, they automatically think of hippies or devil-worship. Some quickly jump to that conclusion regardless of proper definition. I think most of it is based in fear of the mysteries involved, the Occult, per se. Spells and magic are usually scoffed at, with the thinking attached to The Craft and Harry Potter. Most reactions are based on fear, ignorance, and just downright stupidity. I don't even want to think to far into it; it grates my nerves.

~~~~~

It is a new moon, and therefore a time of reflection.

I feel disconnected. I have so much on my plate right now that I feel as if I am watching my life as a third-party instead of actually living it. To feel more connected to everyone I have taken responsibilty for the Circle's quartly newsletter. I like that it only comes only 8 times in the course of a year, giving me plenty of time to do each issue.

Between work, school, homeschool, bills, religious practice, and life itself, I just don't know where I am heading 90% of the time.

Year and a Day

Attempt # 3610249857
-Or, at least, it feels that way.

I'm starting over for the umpteenth time, but this time I have Roderick's book, Wicca: a Year and a Day, to help me out. Like he says on the back cover of the book; "The path of the Witch involves the slow unveiling of the power of the earth, particularly as it manifests in our own lives. This process moves at the pace of the seasons themselves."

Exercise of the day: Sit in nature, use 5 senses to commune with Earth. Envision roots digging into the earth connecting to humans, plants, animals and objects. Analyze connections.

Experience: I feel my strongest connection with humans, or at least the essence of humans. It's not as strong in the animals, and even less in the plants, and almost nonexistant in objects. I believe the strength of this connection has to do a lot with what I can relate to. I feel the most connected with humans because I feel human. The desires, the wants, the needs, the reactions, are human, formed in society as well as nature.

As for my weakest connection, though I enjoy material things, I feel little to no connection to objects. I have no love for them. Maybe a few years ago I did, but I've gone through some experiences where I learned to go without and I realized that all objects can easily be replaced. It is life that matters the most to me, especially the lives of my children.

I really don't feel the need to be more connceted to objects. I understand the need for them - that is as far as I will allow that connection to go. I do wish my connections to plants and animals were stronger, though. I should spend more time with my pets and garden more often to ratify this problem and strengthen my connections.

Tools to gather this month:

• candle holder
• white taper
• farmer's almanac
• 2 orange tapers
• compass
• 1/4 oz of myrrh resin or powdered orris root
• self-igniting charcoal
• 2 green tapers
• 1/4 oz herbal blend consisting of dried meadowsweet and powdered oak bark
• indigo taper